What does being "present" in my motherhood journey mean to me.. That's one of the many questions that's been at the forefront of my thoughts lately. I've been rummaging through ideas and ways to embody the concept of being fully present while still maintaining our home, responsibilities and my sense of self and have come up with a few things that I want to be at the top of my list of priorities. They may seem small, silly or even unimportant to some but, to me, they're just the beginning of my children and I having the relationship that I so long for as they grow.
1 - being eager to be with my children, even when the days seem long, mundane and (sometimes) never ending.
2 - taking time to do what they want to do (not just the things I think will be fun or entertain them).
3 - saying "yes" to more and using caution when I'm about to say "no".
4 - stop rushing through our days together and really spending time looking at them, smiling at them. Soaking them in and enjoying the ages they are right now.
5 - be more spontaneous. Do more things together (at home or otherwise) and just let it go where it's going to. I don't want to put an end to something in my mind before we've even had time to attempt it together.
All of these things are swimming around my thoughts lately and I know there's a purpose for it. It could be that I'm just noticing how grown up my boys are beginning to seem or that the Lord is prompting my heart to take a step back and re-examine my priorities while I still can. I don't really know the source of it but, I get the hint.
Life goes too quickly and the season with our children at home, surrounding us constantly, is such a small, short chunk of that time. I just don't want to m i s s it.
I'm writing this as all four of my little men are with their Memaw for a fun afternoon. The last monday of every month, she takes them all along for our oldest's piano lesson and then they go somewhere to play and have a fun snack afterward. It usually lasts about three hours and I spend the entire time wishing they were back home. Before today, my Tyler would always stay behind because he still naps in the afternoon and he just wasn't big enough to go. But, today, as the big boys were waiting on the front porch for Memaw to arrive, Blake hit the doorbell button and woke Tyler up. So, he naturally wanted to tag along as well which meant dressing him in time to make that happen. (and me sitting down with some caramel m&ms the minute they left because, all the emotions) He's growing up and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
He's been telling me lately that he's not a baby anymore. "I a big boy now", he says. (cue all the tears...) I just miss it so much. Any other mamas out there wish they could bottle their babies up and just keep them tiny forever? Of course, seeing the other boys grow older makes me excited for this next phase of our life as well. Watching their personalities emerge and change as they get older and have their own individual interests. And trying to do my best to guide them down the path the Lord has called them to. It's so so hard.
I'm so thankful to be realizing all of this while I still have them close to me though. I would've hated to see what I was missing in retrospect when it was all too late to soak in. Thank you Lord for this sweet life of mine and I pray you would always shower me with love and grace as I trek into this new territory of my children growing up.
Happy Monday friends! I pray it's the best one you've had in awhile. God bless <3
Outfit Details :
Striped Jumpsuit | Target (Universal Thread)
Straw Bag | Walmart (online only)
Earrings | Nickel & Suede (size large)
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