The Good Old Days

Do you ever look at your life and think, these are the days? These, THESE are the days I'm going to look back on when my children are grown and the years have gone by and I'm going to wish for them with every fiber of my being. The days of sitting for hours on the shore by the creek, watching my baby sleep beside me and my boys reel in fish with their Daddy and see how far they can skip rocks. Of seeing them so immersed in what they're doing that they don't even realize it's past dinner time and the light is starting to fade. The days of taking a drive to Branson and spending the weekend at the condo. Wasting the days away swimming and snacking and playing games and just being together. When our biggest worry is whether we should go to the pool now and eat lunch a little late or eat first and risk it being overrun with people when we finally get there. The days of fitting everything we need into two suitcases and not caring if I remembered it all or not. 

Summer is like a renewing for our family. We get to shake off the chill and stress of being cooped up all winter and break free into the fresh breeze and soft grass. And we love it. Being a boy mom has taught me so much about the important things in life. Sometimes it's about me and the things I like to do. Like get ice cream and shop (duh). But, most of the time it's about them. How big their fish was or how many times they can cast their rod into the pond with little help from their Daddy. How they steered the four wheeler or walked the entire length of the fence looking for sheds but still never found any. I love when they tell me about their adventures outside and how the first thing they almost always do is pick me flowers the minute we step out the door. They spoil me. 

I love to feel the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair. It sounds so cliche but oh is it true. I love fall and spring but, summer is my happy place. These boys have changed that for me. Knowing that all they need is some ripped jeans, waterproof boots and a trail leading someplace unknown (or maybe so familiar they can already see their destination) to make them so immeasurably happy. Sometimes all we need is to look at life through a child's eyes to see the things that truly matter. The ones we love. Our family and friends. Finding ways to show them what they mean to us. Seeing and exploring and soaking up each and every moment as it comes. That's the big stuff. The stuff that will leave so much more of an impression on their hearts than the name across the front of their shirt or the amount of toys in their room. 

What's the one thing you can give that you can never get back? Your time. And I wouldn't want to spend mine any other way than enjoying these hunks that God has so graciously blessed me with. I pray you all had a fantastic weekend and were able to recharge with your families! Let's face the week with so much oomph that Monday won't know what hit it. ;)

A New Approach to A New Year

Dress // thrifted

Slip dress // thrifted

Black Exclusive Leggings // Simple Addiction

Booties // Walmart

Tassle Bag // Jane.com (similar)

Earrings // Sole Society

It's here. That time of year where we all sit down and make a list of our resolutions and then share them with everyone else so we can feel a little more accountable to stick to them. We write down everything we want to accomplish in the coming months and how we want to improve ourselves for the better. I know that it's nothing new to say that I have some resolutions of my own or that they're probably similar to the ones I've made every year for the past several years. Being healthier, more active, less focused on me. I have those. But, this year, I'm more focused on settings goals and priorities instead of "resolutions". I'm trying to be more purposeful about what, and who, I spend my time on and more pro-active about getting rid of all the excess. The self doubt, the junk and the negativity. I recently read a little quote that said something along the lines of, no one is stopping you from being who you want to be, except you. No one is stopping you from doing the things you want to do, except you. Stop blaming others for who you are, or aren't, or the life you're living, or missing, and go out and create it for yourself. YES. That's what I want to do in the coming year. 

I want to be more purposeful about choosing happiness over depression, openness over fear and love over neglect. I want to be the one that invites the new mom to a play date and the visitor at church to sit with us in (what's left of) our pew. The one that isn't afraid to put myself out there for fear of rejection but, instead jumps (or hurdles myself) at new opportunities for fear of what I could MISS if I didn't. I want to be intentional about showing love to my boys each and every day as much as I possibly can. In the little moments, and the big. To be the one they know they can share with and hoping that I become the one they eventually WANT to share with. It's becoming all too apparent to me that this life is fragile. The years of having our children close to us are fleeting, they don't last nearly long enough. Everyday I look at my boys and think, wow. When did you become such an awesome little boy and man, I sure hope I remember this when you're older. I'm quickly learning that I won't always have the luxury of having them home with me and the freedom to spend time with them whenever and however I want to. Time is a thief that way. There's nothing I can really do about it, except for taking advantage of what I have right now. In this moment. Not dwelling on what I wish was mine or pining for the future. If I'm constantly thinking ahead, I just might miss what's right in front of me in the present. 

I want to soak up every sloppy kiss and squeeze around the neck. Every body slam and tug at my hand. The way Blake throws his whole weight on top of us when he wants to get rowdy. Or the way Tyler looks at me when I round the corner to get him up from nap, like it's been a lifetime since he saw me last. The way he stretches his arms out as far as they'll go until he can grab hold of my hand, my arm, or anything that's within reach. He just loves to touch me. There are days when I definitely feel "touched out" but I try to never reject his affection, even for a moment. These may seem like little things to some but, to me? They're what I live for.

I'm so proud of (and slightly annoyed at) the way JD has grown up in these last few months. He's becoming a young man and not a little boy and there are days when I think, my goodness, when did that happen.. But, I know I've been here for all of it. Every smile and every tantrum. I haven't missed it and that, that makes me happy. I'm thankful for the boy that I see my Lucas becoming every day. The one who loves to poke fun at his brothers and tattles nearly every chance he can get. But, will also be the first to rescue them if they've gotten hurt or grab a tissue if they need their nose wiped. He's got such a sweet soul and a tender heart and it hurts me that the world will try to harden it someday. So I'll teach him while I can, love him while I can, hug him while I can and grow with him, while I can. And try my darndest to be joyful in the process. 

There are days when I honestly look at my life and think, how on earth did I ever deserve this. Four of the best kids around and a husband who works so hard to give us the world. He is the first, best decision I made and I thank the Lord for him every single day. Giving him more of my good days is high on my priority list this year. It can be so tough to be Momma all day and then try to remember that I was his first. I want him to have more of my smiles, more of my happy and more of my intentional joy. I want to show him how much I love him and speak to him in the way he needs me to. To be the wife he doesn't even know he's missing.

This year is going to be a big one for me. I'm determined to focus on the good, the blessings and the highs and let loose of the sadness and little failures that I feel each and every day. At the Wilson Christmas this year, Glen's Poppie pulled out some old movies of Christmases past when he and Grammie were raising their two daughters and I couldn't help but notice that every time the camera panned across the room and Grammie would be on the screen, she would be smiling. 

That's going to be me this year. I have no doubt that we'll go through tough times and feel incredible lows but, I also know that God has it all under control. The sickness, the pain, the sadness and depression. The money troubles and the stress. None of it is mine. I'm merely living in the midst of it and the least I can do is be joyful for the good things that are there. For the home I'm living in and the family that surrounds me, the food that fills my pantry and the clothes in our closets. We have SO. MUCH. more than so many people and there isn't a day that goes by that the magnitude of that is lost on me. I am so blessed. 

Happiest New Year. I pray so much that you will see the blessings of your life and not the things that try to take away from it. Let's all make a pact to be the best versions of ourselves in 2017. If you need a little help figuring out just who that is, I know right where you should start. :)