Family is Forever

My sweet Lucas turns six years old today. He came into this world just a few months after his Daddy and I adopted his big brother and I'll never forget how I instantly loved him. Women talk about the love between a mother and child and how special it is but, it just doesn't sink in until you experience it for yourself. I've heard it said that having a child is like having a piece of your heart walking around on the outside of your body. Boy is that ever true.

| A little note to Lucas from your Mama |

My son, I never knew how I could really love another human being until I met you. The way I love your daddy, it's a love that grows with each passing day and life-changing event. He is sweet and tender and loving and supportive and so very generous. But, the love I have for you is different. God entrusted us with you. He imagined and created you with intentions of making us your Mama and Daddy and that sets you apart. It makes you different and special and I hope you never settle for mediocre and always look to go that extra mile because you deserve so much more than this world can offer you. The love I have for you can't really be put into words because all I know is how strongly I can feel it. It's heart wrenching and blinding at times. A love that moves you so deeply you could just cry. You made me a Mama. Yes, JD is older than you and we absolutely had a special kind of love for him before you were born. But, you gave me the heart change that I needed to be the Mama that both of you needed.  And I couldn't be more grateful.

You are kind and big-hearted and so full of sweetness that there are moments when I think that I could just stare at you for hours. Being in awe and wondering what you'll do next. Watching you grow and learn and guide your brothers all while taking in the example JD sets for you has been the most amazing blessing for me. Seeing the bond between you and your brothers strengthen these past few years and (even more so) these past few months, it makes me so excited for the future and what lies ahead. I know I'm not always at my best for you and I am so sorry when I fail. But, that's the nature of being human and the way you pick me back up sometimes just amazes me. You know when I need a hug and you feel it when I'm a little down. That's God-given. It's not something that can be taught or gained from this world. And I'm so thankful for the grace our Lord has blessed you with.

You've mentioned recently that you wanted to have God in your heart and on March 16th, you were saved. It was a morning I'll never forget. We had been to the visitation of a sweet little girl that passed away at just four years old the evening before and on the way home you began asking questions. What is heaven like? When will we die? And, why wasn't her body in heaven? We tried to carefully give you the best answers we could and you seemed satisfied but I could tell you were thinking things over. When you came into my room the next morning before anyone else was awake and asked me to pray with you, I thought my heart just might burst. You're a special kind of little boy Lucas and I pray that our God will always keep a hedge of protection around you while leading you down the road that he has planned. You're destined for something great, I just know it.

I'll end with saying that I hope you never let anyone dampen your sweetness or take away your kind heart. You have so much to give and I pray every day that I can be the Mama you need to help you see that. Happy Birthday my Lucas. I love you . . .

The Good Old Days

Do you ever look at your life and think, these are the days? These, THESE are the days I'm going to look back on when my children are grown and the years have gone by and I'm going to wish for them with every fiber of my being. The days of sitting for hours on the shore by the creek, watching my baby sleep beside me and my boys reel in fish with their Daddy and see how far they can skip rocks. Of seeing them so immersed in what they're doing that they don't even realize it's past dinner time and the light is starting to fade. The days of taking a drive to Branson and spending the weekend at the condo. Wasting the days away swimming and snacking and playing games and just being together. When our biggest worry is whether we should go to the pool now and eat lunch a little late or eat first and risk it being overrun with people when we finally get there. The days of fitting everything we need into two suitcases and not caring if I remembered it all or not. 

Summer is like a renewing for our family. We get to shake off the chill and stress of being cooped up all winter and break free into the fresh breeze and soft grass. And we love it. Being a boy mom has taught me so much about the important things in life. Sometimes it's about me and the things I like to do. Like get ice cream and shop (duh). But, most of the time it's about them. How big their fish was or how many times they can cast their rod into the pond with little help from their Daddy. How they steered the four wheeler or walked the entire length of the fence looking for sheds but still never found any. I love when they tell me about their adventures outside and how the first thing they almost always do is pick me flowers the minute we step out the door. They spoil me. 

I love to feel the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair. It sounds so cliche but oh is it true. I love fall and spring but, summer is my happy place. These boys have changed that for me. Knowing that all they need is some ripped jeans, waterproof boots and a trail leading someplace unknown (or maybe so familiar they can already see their destination) to make them so immeasurably happy. Sometimes all we need is to look at life through a child's eyes to see the things that truly matter. The ones we love. Our family and friends. Finding ways to show them what they mean to us. Seeing and exploring and soaking up each and every moment as it comes. That's the big stuff. The stuff that will leave so much more of an impression on their hearts than the name across the front of their shirt or the amount of toys in their room. 

What's the one thing you can give that you can never get back? Your time. And I wouldn't want to spend mine any other way than enjoying these hunks that God has so graciously blessed me with. I pray you all had a fantastic weekend and were able to recharge with your families! Let's face the week with so much oomph that Monday won't know what hit it. ;)