Suede On Suede

When did suede dresses become a thing and HOW did I miss it?? This is the most perfect dress I think I've ever bought. It's dreamily soft, super cozy but also lightweight (don't ask me how), a great length and, just all around the cutest dress ever! It's short sleeve but, they're kind of between a normal short sleeve and a cuff sleeve in length. The fit is slightly loose and I LOVE it. I went with a medium but, think I could've probably gotten a size small. 

Wanna know my thought process with going for the medium? I thought, ya know, I may be pregnant one more time and this would be super cute with a bump! (...sigh) Laugh if you like but, I'm still not on the "finished having babies" train soooo...

You know what's super exhausting and incredibly cool all at the same time?! Fertility tracking. No really, hear me out. I've been tracking my cycles through a couple of apps for the past few months and it's so neat to see the differences/similarities between them. Most of y'all know we have four super sweet boys. We love them all to death and they are pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to us. Through foster care and adoption we became parents and, while in process, found out we were expecting our first biological child. We were elated and nervous but, ultimately the Lord saw fit to take that baby home earlier than we had hoped and we miscarried around fifteen weeks. 

It was devastating and left us heartbroken. It was most definitely not the plan that we had. But, God is so so good and a few months later, just after finalizing our adoption with JD, we again announced we were expecting our sweet Lucas. Having babies was just too much fun (and one hundred percent what I feel I was created for) and so, we had two more in the following five years. Now we've got four of the most amazing boys around. I feel so blessed to call them mine and thank the Lord every. single. day for allowing me to be their mama. 

But, a part of me (okay, basically all of me) still clings to that season of life. I think about being done. I think of how easy it would be to do things and go places. Planning trips and taking outings around our little town.

But...

But, then I think about how much I love being pregnant. Feeling that sweet soul move around inside my tummy. Hearing that tiny heartbeat for the very first time. All of the kicks and squirms and, when they get the hickups?... I think about watching my belly grow and seeing my boys hug and kiss it and ask a million questions a day about their new little sibling. Memories of labor and delivery come to mind and make me nervous and then, I remember just how incredible it feels to have that squishy little newborn placed on my chest and everything else just melts away. The late night feedings, the endless snuggles, that sweet sweet smell they carry with them everywhere. I love all of it. I try and convince myself that I really don't need that again. But, in my heart, I know. I'm most definitely not done. I know I'm supposed to be happy and content with where I am, where our family is. But, I also believe that the Lord places certain desires on our hearts for a reason. So, that's where we are.

We're tracking our fertility signs and ovulation days and seeing where it takes us. I'm hoping to get that positive result in the next few months but, I'm completely fine with whatever the Lord has planned for us. I just can't give up that dream of cradling my newborn one more time before we let the baby years pass us by and everything becomes a blur. Life is sweet friends. So short but, super sweet. I want to savor this season and squeeze it for everything that it has to offer. And I'm so so thankful to have a husband that shares the desires of my heart and is willing to walk right alongside of me through the unknowns. 

I pray that you have a very happy Easter with those special to you friends. Aren't you glad the Lord is risen!?! 

| OUTFIT DETAILS |

SUEDE DRESS | Bass Pro (it's on SALE for $6 at the Springfield, MO Outlet store!!)

DENIM JACKET | Mossimo (similar here)

EARRINGS | Nickel & Suede

WEDGE BOOTIES | Maurices (these are almost identical)