Life can throw some pretty unexpected curve balls now and again. No matter how hard I try to fend them off for myself, the truth is, more often than not it seems that the more I run away, the harder they seem to chase me. I've been feeling like an emotional mess lately. Is that okay to share here? Remember how I wanted this space to be real and genuine? Well friends, here it is..
If all you knew of me was what you saw in my outfit post photos or on my Instagram feed, then I may seem totally happy and one hundred percent content with my life. You would probably never think that I doubted what the future would hold for me or notice all the areas I feel so insecure about. The truth? There are times when I feel so desperately inadequate for the life I've been called to. This beautiful, crazy, chaotic at times, testosterone-filled, unbelievably happy, simple, little life. What do I have to give these people of mine and how on earth did I ever deserve to be their mama...
There are days when I feel so consumed by thoughts of inadequacy that I just don't even know where to begin in picking myself up and moving forward. There's so much to do and accomplish and there is simply no starting point in sight.. Even if I did find a place to jump in, it would probably not end the way I was hoping for and I would once again feel responsible for single-handily failing my family.
The enemy is banking on my belief in those lies. Isn't that such a silly train of thought to follow though? The truth is that I am unlike anyone else in the entire world. The Lord has created me and ordained me to lead the life that I am CURRENTLY living. He's had a hand in all of the decisions, all of the successes and every little "failure" I've endured. Nothing that has happened in my life is a surprise to Him and the comfort that brings is indescribable. If I'm still being honest,... I don't know where I'd be or what kind of mother or wife I would have become if it was not for the Lord's abundant grace and gentle leading in my life. He is the ONLY way that I can succeed in anything I do.
I've just felt a little emotionally strained these past few weeks and I know it's because I've been letting the troubles of the world get the best of me. Giving my attention to things that certainly do not deserve it and forgetting to fill up on the scriptures and the love that my boys are so quick to give out. It's quicksand and can be detrimental friends.
So, that's why I've been focusing so strongly on thinking positively as of late. Filling my mind with good and my heart with happiness and then allowing all of that positive energy to radiate outward to those around me. Oy can that be challenging at times though. I'm learning that happiness comes from within and that nothing from this world can ever bridge that gap.
I wanted to pop over here for a moment and just share that. I pray you're feeling fulfilled and refreshed and that your memories will always be happy ones. Have a wonderful week friends!! Oh, and shop this fun look while you're at it!
| OUTFIT DETAILS |
OTS TOP | thrifted (exact top here though!)
WHITE SKINNY JEANS | Walmart (similar here)
REVERSIBLE LEATHER TOTE | Walmart (old, similar and much cuter style here)
SUEDE MULES | Rue (similar here)
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