My sweet Lucas turns six years old today. He came into this world just a few months after his Daddy and I adopted his big brother and I'll never forget how I instantly loved him. Women talk about the love between a mother and child and how special it is but, it just doesn't sink in until you experience it for yourself. I've heard it said that having a child is like having a piece of your heart walking around on the outside of your body. Boy is that ever true.
My son, I never knew how I could really love another human being until I met you. The way I love your daddy, it's a love that grows with each passing day and life-changing event. He is sweet and tender and loving and supportive and so very generous. But, the love I have for you is different. God entrusted us with you. He imagined and created you with intentions of making us your Mama and Daddy and that sets you apart. It makes you different and special and I hope you never settle for mediocre and always look to go that extra mile because you deserve so much more than this world can offer you. The love I have for you can't really be put into words because all I know is how strongly I can feel it. It's heart wrenching and blinding at times. A love that moves you so deeply you could just cry. You made me a Mama. Yes, JD is older than you and we absolutely had a special kind of love for him before you were born. But, you gave me the heart change that I needed to be the Mama that both of you needed. And I couldn't be more grateful.
You are kind and big-hearted and so full of sweetness that there are moments when I think that I could just stare at you for hours. Being in awe and wondering what you'll do next. Watching you grow and learn and guide your brothers all while taking in the example JD sets for you has been the most amazing blessing for me. Seeing the bond between you and your brothers strengthen these past few years and (even more so) these past few months, it makes me so excited for the future and what lies ahead. I know I'm not always at my best for you and I am so sorry when I fail. But, that's the nature of being human and the way you pick me back up sometimes just amazes me. You know when I need a hug and you feel it when I'm a little down. That's God-given. It's not something that can be taught or gained from this world. And I'm so thankful for the grace our Lord has blessed you with.
You've mentioned recently that you wanted to have God in your heart and on March 16th, you were saved. It was a morning I'll never forget. We had been to the visitation of a sweet little girl that passed away at just four years old the evening before and on the way home you began asking questions. What is heaven like? When will we die? And, why wasn't her body in heaven? We tried to carefully give you the best answers we could and you seemed satisfied but I could tell you were thinking things over. When you came into my room the next morning before anyone else was awake and asked me to pray with you, I thought my heart just might burst. You're a special kind of little boy Lucas and I pray that our God will always keep a hedge of protection around you while leading you down the road that he has planned. You're destined for something great, I just know it.
I'll end with saying that I hope you never let anyone dampen your sweetness or take away your kind heart. You have so much to give and I pray every day that I can be the Mama you need to help you see that. Happy Birthday my Lucas. I love you . . .
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