Saturday, September 30, 2017

Lavished in Perfect Grace

Lavished in perfect grace.

What a thought. I don't know about you mamas but, I sometimes struggle with feelings of insecurity and unworthiness when it comes to motherhood and finding confidence in who I am. No matter what we do or what our ideals, there's always someone, somewhere, looking for a person, mama, girl, complete stranger just like us to take their frustrations out on. I can't tell you how many times that someone was me.

Growing up, I didn't understand grace. I didn't realize that I needed it or that I didn't have to do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. for it to be offered to me. All I knew was what the media, the ads on TV and in the mall, the girls in my school and the teachers I saw everyday, the people I spent the most time with were telling me. I needed to be better than the girl next to me. I needed to be prettier. Skinnier. Tanner. Trendier. More liked. My smile needed to shine brighter and my attitude needed to exude that I was worth something. Friends, what an exhausting way to live.

When I was a young girl, my neighbor invited me and my family to go to church with her one Sunday. To me, my family seemed like "good people". But, we didn't attend church anywhere. Memories can be a bit fuzzy at that age but, I remember we began attending pretty regularly. Sometimes we would ride with her and, occasionally, our entire family would go together. I know just going to church didn't change me right away. But, I began to see how the girls there acted and treated one another and, then I began to realize that, they had something I didn't. 

I attended for the next few years and even went to church camp for a few. I remember one of the last nights of camp one year, I was probably sixteen, there was an alter call and I went forward. Probably  not fully understanding what I needed but knowing deep in my heart that I wanted a life different than the one that I had. I'm not saying my life was bad at that time. I just didn't have Christ. I remember going forward the following two nights as well and just crying and praying and asking God to forgive me and to come into my heart. We were with a group from our church and one of the leaders asked me the third night, "What's going on? Haven't we done this?". 

We've recently began a new study in my ladies group. It's by Angela Thomas-Pharr and it's called "Redeemed". (You can watch the promo video here) In one of the session videos, she spoke about going forward for years and years and asking the same thing over and over again. Through tears she would beg the Lord for forgiveness and ask Him to come into her heart and save her. She said that one day while she was in the process of asking again she heard, felt really, deep down in her soul, "I had you the first time". . .

It makes me wonder, how much anxiety and worry have I let consume me these past few years. Fear of, am I saved? Do I really have the Lord living inside me? If I die right here, right now, will I make it to Heaven? I'm here to tell you that, if your life is changed. If you realize the depth of your sin and you're intentionally working to be better for Christ. If you look at the world and see sadness but also see the beauty of the Lord and all of His goodness. If you've asked Him to come into your heart and you've confessed your sins and continue to pray daily. You're already there. You don't have to listen to the devil's lies about your salvation. We all make mistakes. We all fall short. But, that's the absolute beauty of the free gift of grace. We don't have to be anything but  u s  to accept it. There is nothing we could ever do to deserve such a lavish gift. But, there's nothing we can do for it to be taken away either. Even if we begin to stray, He will always be there, beckoning us back.

The Lord loves you and He wants to abide in you, if you'll only open your heart to Him. 

To my young, sixteen year old self, I'd say this. Yes, you're a sinner. Yes, you've made bad choices. You've lied and cheated and shimmied your way to the top as best as you could, which was a pretty poor attempt most of the time. You've thrown people under the bus (metaphorically speaking) and gotten pretty darn good at that stank face (you know the one). You've done all of those things. But, the Lord. He did so much more than you ever could. And He wants you to know that you're forgiven. So, don't sulk in your sadness and self pity and doubt. Rejoice in what He's done for you and be done with this. Shake off the dust of this world and look to Heaven. Focus on that. On all of the beauty and glory that awaits you there. 

There are so many things that break my heart daily. Things I read in the news or see on social media. Truly, truly unimaginable things, happening every day. And I think, how could anyone ever survive this life without the love and grace of the Lord. I. just. can't. fathom. How very lonely it must be, and now I realize why some people are the way they are. They just can't shake off the dust.

Instead of being one of those instigators today. The ones that try their best to make people crumble and shut out even the slightest glimmer of happiness in another's life. Might you be uplifting to them? Let them see that little something inside of you that has given you such an understanding of their sorrow and then share with them the source of your  j o y. The love of the Lord really is a joy isn't it? That's who I want to be. I want to be real and honest and genuine. And I want to show people love. Not what the world would have us believe is love. But, the love of an almighty God who loved you enough to give literally everything He had. Everything. That's what I want to be about.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Changing Seasons










It's funny how things can change so drastically in such a short amount of time. For instance, one day it's eighty five and scorching and the next it's sixty nine and crisp. You can go from being at the beach and living the easy life to being back home juggling schoolwork, chores and photography clients within just a few days. Your baby can be up five times in one night and then, one short week later, be sleeping until six or seven in the morning.

That's where we are, as of today. The weather is perfect, our schedule is more structured but also more free (if you can have both of those at the same time), and mama is  f i n a l l y  getting  s l e e p.

I posted a few days ago about how my sweet Tyler had been up more than a few times in one night and I was basically ready to sleep train the hard way. Then, of course, I tried it and remembered how it did NOT work for us. So, I came up with a plan.

It goes as follows : nurse him to sleep at bedtime as usual. Rock him if he wakes in the night. Try to get him back to his bed without waking him.

I'll admit, the first two nights were rough. Rocking and swaying and shushing while watching the minutes creep by soooo slowly. Then, when I was sure he was good and asleep, laying him back into his bed about an hour later before silently sneaking back to my own. If I'm being honest, I began to second guess myself, thinking that this wasn't going to work out. He was going to end up back in our bed and I was going to be running on half empty for the  r e s t  of my life. . .

But, then the third and fourth night happened. He nursed to sleep. He woke up around 2am. I rocked him and, within about ten minutes, he was back to sleep and in his bed. (insert all the praise hands here) It gets better though! The following few nights, he's slept all night and hasn't woken until early morning around six or seven (spare a night or two in there)! I'm so excited! My baby (I totally almost just typed toddler...) is finally sleeping! And I have absolutely zero guilt in bringing him into our bed for that last hour or two before the big boys get up.

All of that being said, this isn't meant to be a soap box post or shaming post for those mamas who do sleep train. I don't ever want anyone to feel judged or discouraged by anything you read here. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you do what you do and I'll do what I do. We all have to find what works for us, and we shouldn't feel ashamed or judged if someone else doesn't agree with us or if what we're doing doesn't work for someone else.

I am just SO thankful and grateful that this is working so well so far and I thought, why not share my strategy with other mamas who may be struggling the same way I am. If it helps you, that's great! If not, it won't hurt my feelings. I'm rooting for you mama.

I thought I'd include some of our family photos we had done in Myrtle Beach because they just turned out so good. I'll share the rest soon (hopefully before the warm weather is too far gone!) but, until then, have a wonderful Thursday friends!

 

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Boundaries



It's been almost two years since our sweet baby boy number four arrived. He was the most perfect, squishy, cuddly baby I had ever had the privilege to meet. And he was all mine. All of my babies were snugglers but, this one, he topped them all. The first few weeks, we used our Arms Reach Co-Bedder and we looooved it. There are many features about it that really drew me to it but, the fact that it could actually attach to the bed and baby could be quite literally within arms reach, sold it for me. It worked wonders. We mostly co-sleep with our babies, it just works for us. But, on those nights where we were so physically exhausted that we were nervous to have him in the bed with us, or we just needed some space, and for those daytime naps, this worked perfectly.

Ninety five percent of the time though, our sweet Tyler ended up in our bed for half, if not most of, the night. After a few months, it just became routine. Pretty quickly, he and I grew quite attached to sleeping side by side. He would snuggle me around the neck and I would rub his squishy little tummy. Recently though, it's gotten harder and harder to get good rest. Well, let's face it, he's gotten bigger. And wigglier. And the fact that he will NOT sleep with a blanket (or sheet, or even a thin swaddle) on makes it hard to keep my cold-natured self comfortable. . . So, I've made a resolution.

I'm taking my bed back.

And, I'm nervous. And excited. ha. As silly as that may sound to some, it's a huge change from what we're used to. With our other boys, they slept in our bed till they were about a year old, maybe slightly longer. Then we'd slowly transition them to their crib in their own room. Well, we started doing that when Tyler turned one also but, it's just gone a LOT slower. He still nurses to go to sleep at night and then wakes in the middle of the night for another feeding. (He's almost TWO people..) Mentally, I kmow he doesn't need to nurse during the night anymore. It's unnecessary. But, we're both just so attached to that time we have together. I can't really explain the bond you share with your nursing baby. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before and it makes me so sad to think that I won't have much longer to enjoy it. But, I also know that babies grow up and life moves on and seasons change and we have to roll with it or else we'll miss all the blessings of now.

So, my resolution to get my bed back is beginning now. Today. Well, last night actually. I watched a video from Rachel Hollis - The Chic Site yesterday and it got me a little pumped to get right down to it. Sleep training, that is. I mean, if she can sleep train her babies at three and four months old then, surely I can sleep train my twenty two month old, right? . . . Wrong. There's a reason I haven't tried it with Tyler yet. Because I did with Lucas, for like one night, and realized it just wasn't for us. It didn't work and my baby didn't settle down and I could not handle him being so upset when I knew exactly how to make it better. But, I kept going back over the night before when I felt crummy as ever (why do our cycles make us feel so blahhh... especially when they're coming back postpartum??), couldn't get him in his bed (which was kind of unusual because he always starts the night in his crib), spent the entire night being kicked and slapped and woken every two to three hours to nurse and ended up with him by myself because the hubby had retreated to the spare bedroom. . . So, I'm sitting on the couch thinking, something HAS to be done about this. I just can't keep doing this every. single. night.

SO. I decided to try it. Sleep training. I gave him a warm bath, got him all cozy, snuggled him on the couch and then nursed him before giving him his Fuzzy (a little lavender pouch bear) and settling him in his crib. Guys, he totally had me pinned. I didn't even get him settled in before he began wimpering and all out crying for "mama!!!!". But, I thought, nope, I'm giving this a shot. I resisted and turned the volume up on Gilmore Girls and tried not to check my phone time every few seconds. When I went back in after the first five minutes because he simply wasn't calming down, I ended up scooping him up and snuggling him for the next half hour. . . After three attempts and finally getting him to stay in his crib (seriously that five minutes scarred him people..), he ended up sleeping ALL NIGHT LONG. Thanks buddy but, what????

But, back to the point, sleep training is not for us. I do , however, have a game plan. And that is to nurse him before bed like usual (though I think he's going to be weaning sometime soon), then when he wakes in the middle of the night, I'll rock and soothe him like I do for naps through the day and then lay him back in his bed. That way he won't be expecting to nurse every time he wakes up and maybe, just maybe, he'll get the picture that nighttime is for SLEEP. Soooo, we'll see how it pans out and I will for sure keep you guys updated with how it goes!

I also wanted to say that, there's no judgement here. If you sleep train, co sleep, whatever. You do what you do and I'll do what I do. We all have to find what works for us and just because it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't for you. And vise versa. Have a blessed week friends and thanks for following along.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Living THIS Life






You may have noticed a little change in the name of my blog. I've felt for a while that Smalltown Seamstress just didn't encompass everything I had intentions to blog about. I love sewing and style but, I sometimes find that I don't post as often if I don't have an outfit or fashion tips to share. So, I thought I'd change things up a bit and I'm excited to see where it takes me. I still plan to share styling tips and outfit inspiration here but, you'll also find encouraging words on motherhood, being intentional about life and the decisions we're making, little life updates, diy projects and how we school our children at home. I don't intend for this space to become a "how to" blog or a place for me to stand on my soap box. I just want to feel free to share more of what's on my heart, when some of the content is not centered around fashion. 

That being said, I hope you'll continue to follow along here. Fall is upon us and, with that, my favorite season. Layering, boots, cozy blankets, chilly days, hayrides and fall festivals, hot chocolate and feeling that laid back schedule something fierce. I love it. It will officially begin in just a few days but, here in Missouri we're still in the midst of a little heat wave. (what happened to the 70 degree temps they had at home while we were on vacay??)  

I'm trying not to wish away the last few days of summer but, I just can't help but bring some fall pieces into my wardrobe to help it along a little. This amazing cardigan was a five dollar find at Rue21. LOVE it. I've worn it more than a few times already and I know it will be on major repeat when chillier weather comes to stay. It's breathable and lightweight but still very cozy. It's perfect to layer in and easy to throw over almost any neutral outfit. The blush color is still very much in style right now and I'm glad because it may be one of my favorites ever. 

Another favorite part of this outfit are my Nickel & Suede large leather earrings in Lipgloss. They are seriously life changing. I have three pair now and wear them all on heavy rotation. If you haven't tried them, you're missing out!! They're that good. 

I'll be sharing some about our beach vacay here soon, we had the BEST time. I won't get into all of that now but, look for a post or two all about it. Sometimes I seriously question why we don't live near the beach. It doesn't even have to be a warm beach. I'd love to live in Cape Cod or some small coastal town in Maine. It's literally what my dreams are made of....


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(Most items are not available anymore so, I've linked similar items in place of them.)