Boundaries

It's been almost two years since our sweet baby boy number four arrived. He was the most perfect, squishy, cuddly baby I had ever had the privilege to meet. And he was all mine. All of my babies were snugglers but, this one, he topped them all. The first few weeks, we used our Arms Reach Co-Bedder and we looooved it. There are many features about it that really drew me to it but, the fact that it could actually attach to the bed and baby could be quite literally within arms reach, sold it for me. It worked wonders. We mostly co-sleep with our babies, it just works for us. But, on those nights where we were so physically exhausted that we were nervous to have him in the bed with us, or we just needed some space, and for those daytime naps, this worked perfectly.

Ninety five percent of the time though, our sweet Tyler ended up in our bed for half, if not most of, the night. After a few months, it just became routine. Pretty quickly, he and I grew quite attached to sleeping side by side. He would snuggle me around the neck and I would rub his squishy little tummy. Recently though, it's gotten harder and harder to get good rest. Well, let's face it, he's gotten bigger. And wigglier. And the fact that he will NOT sleep with a blanket (or sheet, or even a thin swaddle) on makes it hard to keep my cold-natured self comfortable. . . So, I've made a resolution.

I'm taking my bed back.

And, I'm nervous. And excited. ha. As silly as that may sound to some, it's a huge change from what we're used to. With our other boys, they slept in our bed till they were about a year old, maybe slightly longer. Then we'd slowly transition them to their crib in their own room. Well, we started doing that when Tyler turned one also but, it's just gone a LOT slower. He still nurses to go to sleep at night and then wakes in the middle of the night for another feeding. (He's almost TWO people..) Mentally, I kmow he doesn't need to nurse during the night anymore. It's unnecessary. But, we're both just so attached to that time we have together. I can't really explain the bond you share with your nursing baby. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before and it makes me so sad to think that I won't have much longer to enjoy it. But, I also know that babies grow up and life moves on and seasons change and we have to roll with it or else we'll miss all the blessings of now.

So, my resolution to get my bed back is beginning now. Today. Well, last night actually. I watched a video from Rachel Hollis - The Chic Site yesterday and it got me a little pumped to get right down to it. Sleep training, that is. I mean, if she can sleep train her babies at three and four months old then, surely I can sleep train my twenty two month old, right? . . . Wrong. There's a reason I haven't tried it with Tyler yet. Because I did with Lucas, for like one night, and realized it just wasn't for us. It didn't work and my baby didn't settle down and I could not handle him being so upset when I knew exactly how to make it better. But, I kept going back over the night before when I felt crummy as ever (why do our cycles make us feel so blahhh... especially when they're coming back postpartum??), couldn't get him in his bed (which was kind of unusual because he always starts the night in his crib), spent the entire night being kicked and slapped and woken every two to three hours to nurse and ended up with him by myself because the hubby had retreated to the spare bedroom. . . So, I'm sitting on the couch thinking, something HAS to be done about this. I just can't keep doing this every. single. night.

SO. I decided to try it. Sleep training. I gave him a warm bath, got him all cozy, snuggled him on the couch and then nursed him before giving him his Fuzzy (a little lavender pouch bear) and settling him in his crib. Guys, he totally had me pinned. I didn't even get him settled in before he began wimpering and all out crying for "mama!!!!". But, I thought, nope, I'm giving this a shot. I resisted and turned the volume up on Gilmore Girls and tried not to check my phone time every few seconds. When I went back in after the first five minutes because he simply wasn't calming down, I ended up scooping him up and snuggling him for the next half hour. . . After three attempts and finally getting him to stay in his crib (seriously that five minutes scarred him people..), he ended up sleeping ALL NIGHT LONG. Thanks buddy but, what????

But, back to the point, sleep training is not for us. I do , however, have a game plan. And that is to nurse him before bed like usual (though I think he's going to be weaning sometime soon), then when he wakes in the middle of the night, I'll rock and soothe him like I do for naps through the day and then lay him back in his bed. That way he won't be expecting to nurse every time he wakes up and maybe, just maybe, he'll get the picture that nighttime is for SLEEP. Soooo, we'll see how it pans out and I will for sure keep you guys updated with how it goes!

I also wanted to say that, there's no judgement here. If you sleep train, co sleep, whatever. You do what you do and I'll do what I do. We all have to find what works for us and just because it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't for you. And vise versa. Have a blessed week friends and thanks for following along.